I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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