I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Bring me that man meat
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
