last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
