come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
