sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
