Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
