put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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