Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
