So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
