It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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