There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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