The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Randomize
