At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i just had sex bonerless
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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