Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
