I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
