Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(434): View more from Virginia

Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.

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(843): View more from South Carolina

he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number

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(210): View more from Texas

she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?

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(951): View more from California

My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room

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(231): View more from Michigan

Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.

(1-413): View more from Massachusetts

A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.

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(424): View more from California

Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?

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(410): View more from Maryland

He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers

(725): View more from

Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house

(702): View more from Nevada

Pro: there’s always strippers at our house

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