bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
