You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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