I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
