U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Randomize
