New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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