She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
