The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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