I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
