yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
