these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
It was like getting head from an anaconda
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
