PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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