he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
