NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
