i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
