Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
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