Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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