I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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