Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
