I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
