when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Nobody cheats on THIS.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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