69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
