so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
