We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Randomize
