i think my mom watched the whole time
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
