im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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