What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
pray to the hookup gods
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
