dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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