i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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