my sisters under your porch take her home
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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