If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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