He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
They took my balls.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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