i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
