I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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