she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My vagina just clenched in fear
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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